This Day...

Today is 31st December 2010

I still do not want to go back to hostel...
I do not want to go back to hostel....

You know...
When I think about...
I will not sleep on my bed anymore...
I will not bath in my favorite bathroom anymore...
Mama will not call me to get out of bed every morning anymore...
Mama will not call me up to breakfast, lunch, tea-time or dinner anymore...
Or anything like that...

I'm getting afraid...
SO afraid...
I do not know why...
But...
There is some feeling...
An uneasy feeling...

I feel like crying...
I want to cry...
And tell somebody...
Or everyone about my feeling...
I want to cry...
And let everyone know my feeling...

I want my Papa and Mama to know my feeling...
But...
I'm such a wimp...
Scared to tell people...
Scared to do something...
What a JERK am I....

Please...
Don't say...
That other people can do it... why not you???
I'm not that people...!
I'm different!!
It's such a sad thing...
I do not want to go back there...

WAAAA....

Can I have somebody to cry on the shoulder for??

Tasketene... Onegaishimas!!!!

Deshounee...

Today is 30 December 2010...
There are three more days for me to go back to hostel...

But of course, I do not start parking yet!!!
Why???

Because I do not want to go back to that hell.. I mean school...
I do not want to go back there...
I will have my Junior High Examination...
Of course, it will be an important examination for 3rd year of Junior High...

That's why, I do not want to go through this examination without my parents...
I do not to call my parents every morning for them to say "good luck!" to me...
I want to shake hands with my parents at least...
To see their face in the morning so that I will be more energetic during examination...

Plus...
My mother can teach me anything at home...
Even though the school that I'm attending now is an elite school (by what other people look...)
But, it's not like I can understand what all the teacher teach...

And...
I'm not really have a good relationship with my friends...
When I am at class...
I always study alone...
How to say this...
I am not the type that like to talk much...
That's why I cannot study with my friends...
Study group... I mean...

There are many reasons for me of not going back to the hostel...
I really can't live without my parents...
I cannot do things on my own...
I'm a little bit messy to do things on my own...
I need to learn more things with my parents...
If I'm sick... It's hard to go to clinic or hospital...
I didn't eat when times come... If the class when late, I will not eat lunch...

Waaa!!!! (crying)

There are many reasons... SO many!!!!!
It's hard to write...
I feel like crying....
Mommy!!! Daddy!!!


I DO NOT GO BACK TO HOSTEL!!!!
HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!